A friend of mine was getting burned out on his job and decided it was time to make a change of employment. It wasn't that he hated his job but more that he had reached a dead end with his company and had little chance for advancement. The deciding factor was when he was passed over for a promotion yet the position he had applied for remained unfilled. He possessed all of the qualifications for the job but for some unknown reason, his employer declined to give him the position.

He consulted a company that specializes in finding jobs that fit their clients needs and skills while maximizing earning and benefits. Companies such as this, better known as "headhunters," will take a persons resume and send it to various companies that they have matched to the persons capabilities while at the same time attempting to acquire as high of a salary as possible for their client. The more money the job seeker is promised, the more the headhunter makes.

My friend made a point to tell the headhunter that his present employer had no idea that he was intending to make a job change and he emphasized that he would like to keep it that way. The headhunter assured him that his employer would not be notified in any way shape or form.

A few days later, my friend was working in his office when he received a call from the headhunter. "I have found the perfect job for you," he said. "The benefits are about the same as you have now but the salary is almost fifteen thousand dollars more per year."

"Wow!" said my friend. "That really sounds good." At this point during the conversation my friend's boss walked in to his office and tossed some stapled papers in front of him.

The headhunter continued, "I thought you would be pleased. As a matter of fact, I took the liberty of faxing your resume to the prospective employer just a few minutes ago."

"Yes, I know," said my friend. "I'm looking at it now.

Once upon a time there were three little pigs, Manny, Moe and Jack. Their mother had kicked them out of the house after highschool and they were forced to take jobs at the local copper smelting plant. After working for a time, they each decided it to build homes as such was the dream of every pig in the land.

The first little pig, Manny said, "I believe it would be the most economical to build my house out of straw. Besides, straw it recyclable and will best blend in with the landscape."

"Economical as it may be," said Jack, the third little pig, "straw will offer little protection against the wolf who roams these parts."

The second little pig, Moe, said, "I think I'll build my house out of sticks. It will be camouflaged equally to a straw house but will afford extra strength should the wolf discover my abode. Besides, sticks are a renewable resource."

The third little pig said, "Sticks will offer little security against the wolf. I suggest you rethink your choice of building materials."

"Ahhh who's afraid of the wolf?" exclaimed Moe. "Like a straw house, a stick house will be camouflaged so well that he won't even know it is there."

Manny and Moe both thought that Jack was jealous because he hadn't thought of their ideas first. "So, Mr. Smarty Pig, what are you going to use to build your house?" they asked.

"I plan on using brick," said Jack. I can't think of a more suitable way to reflect my personality than with the natural timelessness and versatility of brick and I will feel secure in knowing that the wolf will not be able to penetrate the exterior. Besides, I'll never have to paint."

Manny and Moe both rolled their eyes as they wandered off into the countryside to build their homes.

Several months pass and all three little pigs have successfully built their houses. One day, the first little pig was lounging inside his straw house when there came a knock at the door. "Who is it?" called the pig.

"It is I, the wolf. I have come to eat you," said the large predatory canid.

"Come back later," said Manny, "I'm doing the dishes."

"Open up now!" cried the wolf. "If you don't, I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down!"

"Give it your best shot old pal!" said Manny and with that the wolf began to huff and puff until he blew the little pigs house down.

Just as the house was collapsing, Manny headed out the back door and ran to the second little pig's house. "Hey Moe! Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck. Hey Moe! Let me in Moe! The wolf has blown my house down and he's hot on my trail." Moe quickly opened the door and let his brother in.

Soon afterwards there came a knock at the door. "Who is it?" called the pigs.

"It is I, the wolf. I have come to eat you," said the large predatory canid.

"Come back later," said the pigs, "We're doing the dishes."

"Open up now!" cried the wolf. "If you don't, I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down!"

"Give it your best shot buster!" said the pigs and with that the wolf began to huff and puff until he blew Moe's house down as well.

Again, just as the house was collapsing, Manny and Moe headed out the back door and ran to the third little pig's house. "Let us in Jack!" they cried." The wolf has blown our houses down and he's hot on our trail." Jack quickly opened the door and let his brothers in.

Almost as soon as the door was closed, there came a knock at the door. "Who is it?" called the pigs.

"It is I, the wolf. I have come to eat you," said the large predatory canid.

"Come back later," said the pigs, "We're doing the dishes."

"Open up right now!" cried the wolf. "If you don't, I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down!"

"Have at it you old fur ball!" said Jack and the wolf began to huff and puff. He huffed and puffed and puffed and huffed until his lungs collapsed. He was rushed to a nearby hospital for emergency surgery.

The three little pigs lived happily ever after and the wolf, after a lengthy recovery, became an aluminum siding salesman.

The five North Carolina Farmers Markets, operated by the North Carolina Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services, are places where farmers can sell their products to both wholesalers and individuals. Just about any kind of fruit and vegetable can be found along with many other commodities. There are two restaurants located at the Raleigh location of the Farmers Market. One serves only seafood and the other serves down home country cooking. Since these eating establishments are close to where I work, I will occasionally take clients there during the lunch hour.

Most of my clients are interested in testing southern country cooking and of the two restaurants, that is the one I most frequent. The interior is plain and not fancy. The food is good and mostly fattening. Vegetable plates are served but rest assured that they have been cooked in some sort of animal fat. Iced tea is the drink of choice and you will find a bottle of molasses as well as a bottle of barbecue sauce on every table. I will say that the place isn't very vegetarian friendly and if you go there you should probably be prepared to eat meat.

On one occasion, I had taken a client there when I noticed an elderly gentleman and his wife as they sat down at one of the plain wooden tables next to us. The old couple looked like they could turn to dust at any moment. The woman spotted some friends a few tables over and ventured over to talk with them. As soon as the woman turned her back, the old man picked up a squirt bottle of molasses and quickly applied a heaping mound to his index finger before inserting it into his mouth. His wife continued talking to her friends and occasionally would turn towards her husband. He would smile and wave or nod his head but as soon as she turned around to face her friends, he'd squirt another line of molasses on his finger and suck it down as quickly as he could.

I clued in my client as to what was happening and he positioned himself so he could see the action. The old man was making a meal out of molasses and his wife was none the wiser. The wife finished her conversation and made her way back to the table where her husband sat. "Is that molasses on the table? You haven't been eating it again have you?" The old man sat speechless.

My client turned to the old man and said, "May I borrow your molasses one more time? The bottle we have still seems to be clogged." With a slightly puzzled look but without saying a word, the old man handed my client the molasses. My client gave the bottle a slight squeeze and molasses squirted on the table in front of the old man. "I'm sorry," exclaimed my client. "I've seem to have spilled molasses on your table again."

"The old man, with a stern look and grizzled voice, replied, "Just keep it son. I'm tired of cleaning up your messes."

While raising a three-year-old, I have observed that children of this age seldom do exactly what they are told. As a matter of fact, when told to do something, they tend to do the exact opposite. Yelling a command at a three-year-old is about as effective as yelling at a stone wall but my solution to this problem is not to stop yelling. In fact, my solution is to yell more. The following are some examples of things I plan on screaming at my child in hopes that he will disobey me.

Leave your toys where they are! If you pick up so much as one toy and put it away, you'll get an allowance!

Stop jumping on the floor. That's what furniture is for!

Do not, by any means, eat any of the vegetables on your plate! If you do, I'll make you go out and play and we both know you don't want that to happen!

How many times do I have to tell you to slam the door when you come in the house?

Take your Kool-Aid and spill it on the new carpet!

If you are going to put your feet on the couch you have to put your shoes on!

I'm tired of telling you not to draw pictures on paper with crayons! For crying out loud, use the walls!

Stop sitting up straight and start slouching! You're going to end up with good posture if you're not careful!

Don't you dare come in this house without mud on your shoes!

Here, eat this Play Doh!

Get those dirty dishes out of the sink and take them back to your room where they belong!

Candy is for before supper only!

For once, will you please leave the door open so the bugs can get in?

Stop turning off the lights! Now, go back and turn on every light in the house!

Let go of my hand and run wild through the grocery store!

If you don't stop leaving the water turned off in the bathroom I'm going to make you eat ice cream!

If the food from your plate isn't on the floor in five minutes, I'm going to make you watch cartoons!

It's not bedtime! Open your eyes and play right now!

Why do I have to keep telling you to run in the house?

You know better than to be quiet while I'm on the phone!

If you want to hold the expensive crystal bowl, you'll have to stand on a chair and get it out of the cabinet above the refrigerator all by yourself!

Being sick is no excuse for not jumping on your bed!

Don't eat your supper! You'll spoil your desert!

Get out of the kitchen with those cookies! Take them into the living room and grind them into the carpet right now!

I don't care what all the other kids are doing! You are not brushing your teeth before bedtime!

If you're going to ride your bike, you're going to have to take that helmet off!

That chair wasn't made for sitting on all four legs! Lean it back on two legs this instant!

I don't care if it's raining outside! Go out and climb as high up in the oak tree as you can! And don't forget to swing on the weakest limbs!

By the time I count to three, you had better have all of your clothes out of the hamper and scattered all over your room.

Don't pee in the potty! Use the floor!

So parents, I urge you to try this method if you are having trouble getting your child to listen to you. They might just fall for it but if they don't at least you can say that your child does what he or she is told. While using this method, if your child actually obeys everything you say, you might end up telling your kid what every child wants to hear from mom and dad; "Stop doing what I tell you to do!"