George Friday, June 17, 2005 at 04:16:17

away for a while. 15 minutes to be exact. Or maybe it was 20. It didn't really matter because, for now, her goal was to

DON'T GOT A CLUE Sunday, June 19, 2005 at 10:30:16

Find the McHaggis on that street and get herself a McHaggis sandwich.

Pedantic Wednesday, June 22, 2005 at 09:05:13

You see, she had sworn a sacred oath to her saintly father that she would never, ever eat anything from Burger Haggis, but would always spend her nickel at McHaggis. So yu can imagine how surprised she was when that guy with the crown from Burger Haggis popped out of the door of McHaggis with three, count 'em, three green, three-eyed, five-armed aliens hanging onto his arms, making cooing noises like they wanted to, well, you know...

DON'T GOT A CLUE Thursday, June 23, 2005 at 10:05:41

No, we don't know. Anyway, Burger Haggis, or as it is properly pronounced Haggis King, had did something to her father a long time ago in a land far away. They sneezed on his Haggis whopper.

Pitstop Penny Thursday, June 23, 2005 at 10:11:39

and her father did NOT appreciate the special sauce on his Haggis Whopper.

jobeee Thursday, June 23, 2005 at 11:32:20

However, he came to find out that the special sauce had been the antidote for a horrible illness he had contracted, and it caused him to convalesce very quickly. From this time hence, Ernestine's dad required that she only ate at Burger Haggis and not McHaggis. But Ernestine hated to eat at Burger Haggis, and since McHaggis was forbidden, her only course of action could be to...

Pedantic Saturday, June 25, 2005 at 11:41:51

stop taking drugs. She kept getting confused; was she supposed to forswear McHaggis, or Haggis King? Sometimes it was crystal clear what her daddy had sworn her to, but most of the time it was a blur. She sighed. Back to the issue at hand. Those three green aliens with five arms and three eyes, who made cooing noises like they wanted to, well, you know... Okay you don't know. After all, these were aliens from outer space. Their cooing could mean, "take me to your leader," or it could mean, "I want to suck the blood out of your body." Ernestine decided not to take any chances. She darted for the nearest tree, broke a branch off, and swung it mightily at the closest green gal. The woman from another planet then...

DON'T GOT A CLUE Monday, June 27, 2005 at 08:31:47

Took off a disquise that revealed, oh wait, wrong story.

xGx Saturday, July 2, 2005 at 20:18:02

...revealed that McHaggis, or Haggis King as it is so widely known, was just a figment of everybody's imaginations. Ernestine had no father, and the countless hours she had spent dreaming of better things in life were merely implanted memory chips which were given to her by Dr. Ernesto Fantallo, the diabolical neurosurgen in charge of creating an army of mercenary clones. Ernestine was, in fact, such a clone! Her mission? To destroy the President of Luthuania and instigate a complete, world-wide monarchy.

Thunda-down-unda Sunday, July 3, 2005 at 19:23:34

Then the alarm told Ernestine to "Wake up", it's time for work. The whole thing had been a terrible dream. She applied eye-shadow and mascara to her three eyes (which is really easy when you've got five arms. Trust me!) Just another day - and you know the old saying - A million days, a million cosminos! Life on Zarcon just keeps rollin' on. "Thank the Geane for Ganixel Tonic." She couldn't make it through another 'light-phase' without her morning Tonic.Gotta go, her ride is sounding her siren. Must rush!

marshal dillun Tuesday, July 5, 2005 at 23:58:11

And of course on the way into the office, Puckerstun, her ride into work, and Ernestine stopped off at Mindy's Hot and Juicy HaggisSmaggis Shack for a quick cup of Joe and a Breakfast Bratworst. They were out of Joe, so they had a cup of Suzy instead. Suddenly they saw a giant...

Kwith Thursday, July 7, 2005 at 19:14:40

Llama barreling toward them at full speed. This wasn't your ordinary llama either... and it was already having a bad day. He wanted Ernestine's cup of coffee but Ernestine wasn't going to give it up that easy! Ernestine needed to protect herself from this beast so she grabbed the closest thing to her and swung away. But she was surprised to see that she had grabbed a...

Pitstop Penny Friday, July 8, 2005 at 09:36:11

Genuine, Real Deal, Authentic rope of HAGGIS!!!!The Llama, knowing what was in haggis, fell all over himself and Puckerstun, her ride to work. Oh, no! Her ride to work! And she just got rolled over by a giant llama! That was when....

Loz Tuesday, July 12, 2005 at 08:47:14

The four gastronomic generalissimos came round the courner. They were being very rowdy and gwaffawing at everything. "Ha," the Great Gastronomic Generalissimo said, "What have we here?" The Gargantuan Gastronomic Generalissimo replied: "Why, I think it's a..."

DON'T GOT A CLUE (Boy a lot happens when you're not here) Wednesday, July 13, 2005 at 22:43:33

Krabby Patty, made with love, not magic.

Andy Tuesday, July 19, 2005 at 04:23:24

When they realised that what they thought was a Krabby Patty was actually a freshly llama-squashed Puckerstun they became angry and told Ernestine to...

Loz Friday, July 22, 2005 at 04:50:26

"Clean up" her "act". "For this!" they exclaimed, "We will have to exact justice!" The they huddled in a group to discuss her fate and compare fake noses.

DON'T GOT A CLUE Monday, July 25, 2005 at 10:20:32

When the snot-fest was over they decided to give Ernestine the results of said snot-fest, and to force her watch reruns of the most awfuld t.v. show thought up by man. It was...

Pitstop Penny Tuesday, July 26, 2005 at 09:16:55

THE NEWLEY WEDS!!!!Yes! The game where you PROVE that you know absolutely NOTHING about the person you married! And the winner gets....

DON'T GOT A CLUE Wednesday, August 3, 2005 at 08:22:32

A new nose! But enough about that, when Ernestine heard the awful news, she started crying and begging that they would let her keep her sanity. "Bleep goopgloop she-babpob" which was alien for...

Pedantic Wednesday, August 31, 2005 at 06:33:16

"Please don't make me drink that foul-smelling greenish liquid! I'll be a good girl! Honest!" The generalissimos were having none of it however. The biggest and strongest of the four grabbed the back of her neck and forced her mouth open. The second strongest pinched her nose while the third poured the green glop down her throat. She swallowed. Once. Twice. Three times, before they released her...

jobeee Wednesday, August 31, 2005 at 16:29:14

into the haunted forest.

Me Friday, September 2, 2005 at 13:54:21

Once released, Ernestine ran as fast as she could through the forest, hoping that the ROUS's (Rats of unusual size) didn't try to attack her.

Pitstop Penny Wednesday, September 21, 2005 at 09:08:16

But of course, the ROUS just had to show up. They stood along the side of the trail leading through the forest throwing snide remarks at her. (Stick & stones...). She tried not to let the snide remarks slow here down but....

barbjo Wednesday, September 21, 2005 at 14:22:56

even worse, her beautiful honey blond hair was being destroyed by the evil tree branches in the haunted forest. A verbal ROUS (Rats Of Unusual Size) attack or two could be tolerated, but, messing up her hair was something else again. She was a blond!!!Exiting the forest, she spied a space vehicle parked at a local gas station.It was her four little green 'friends' getting filled up for the long journey home. The craft had 'U F O' printed on the side in large black letters."Hi. So this is the 'Unidentified Flying Object' that I have been hearing so much about lately.""Don't call us an unidentified flying object. Al Gore made that up. Our official designation is Light Speed Intergalactic Space Vehicle, or LSISV, if you must.""But it is printed on the side, U F O.""This is an older model -- that stands for unleaded fuel only."She strolled on quite content that she had acquired all this new knowledge in just one day.But then, all of a sudden,

jobeee Thursday, September 22, 2005 at 07:09:37

one of her little green friends astutely pointed out that there were only 4 seats in the vehicle, and she just wouldn't fit into their car, or their plans for the day. So the LSISV sped off, disappearing into the distance, leaving Ernestine in the dust at the gas station. "Hey thar, blondie- ya needa ride?" Ernestine turned to see a huge purple glob of a truck driver filling up at the diesel pump motioning for her to come his way. Ernestine made a quick decision and decided to...

barbjo Sunday, September 25, 2005 at 10:23:49

hop in the truck. After all she did have the book the four little green men gave to her just before they departed - to pass the time away in case the truck ride was booring. She glanced at the title; "HOW TO SERVE MAN". 'How considerate of those nice little green men', she thought. She opened it & discovered it was a COOKBOOK.

Pitsop Penny Monday, September 26, 2005 at 09:14:27

Now, she got to wondering..."did I ever cook for my little green friends? Are they trying to tell me something?" Then she decided it didn't matter anyway. Reading a cookbook to her was like reading Greek..and she didn't know Greek either!! She decided to try to make conversation with the truck driver, no matter that he was a purple glob..her other friends were green for goodness sakes! For that matter, so was she. You know, maybe that was the reason she understood her friends at the gas station so well. Wait!! If she was green, how could she have long, luxuriant blonde hair? Was this another implanted memory? To go along with that she thought was implanted....

Gutbucketbob Wednesday, October 5, 2005 at 12:50:51

...an early episode of Jake and the Fat Man.It was no secret to any of her personalities that she hated,no...abhored,no...despised,no...loathed...hmmm....yes...loathed is the right word.She loathed the fellow they called Jake.Infact,she loathed him so much she...

Pitstop Penny Monday, October 10, 2005 at 09:43:53

Gutbucketbob? Gutbucketbob? That sounds almost as wild as Pitstop Penny(sorry about that) Would rather eat haggis raw from McHaggis than....

Pedantic Wednesday, October 12, 2005 at 11:40:16

pass the time of day near his smelly carcass. "What's that odd smell?" the purple blob asked, "smells like BO and garlic." Ernestine gasped! She suddenly realized that she smelled just like Jake! Could it be? Was it possible that she and Jake were really the same body, with a different personality in control? "Oh no! Oh no!" she cried. Jerking out a large, scary gun, she pointed it at Purple Blob and said, "shoot me! Put me out of my misery!" Purple Blob, however, was so panic stricken by the barrel of a gun thrust into his face that he lost control of his truck, and ran into a telephone pole, splattering himself across the windshield, and coating Ernestine in purple goo from the aftersplash. After the truck stopped moving, the purple goo slowly recongealed...

Linnet Woods Sunday, October 16, 2005 at 14:31:28

... and it was at this point that Ernestine woke up, so suddenly that she managed to fall out of the hammock that Jake had slung between two fever trees, and realized that she must have dozed off during the ghastly TV re-runs. She was quite alone, except for...

ohbother Saturday, October 29, 2005 at 22:48:37

the evil Count Robeo who had put Ernestine inside Jake's body!!! "oh my!" she thought, "my beeeautiful blonde hair is gone!!"

ipilot Sunday, October 30, 2005 at 01:47:57

From the top of my head to my face, so now I have to shave my bleached-blond beard . .. and

jobeee Friday, November 11, 2005 at 12:26:20

then I would lose all of my powers, which are intrinsically within in my facial hair!!" Her only recourse was to begin to braid her facial hair into cornrows so that it wasn't as obviously present. All of a sudden, Ernestine's mind completely cleared from her groggy TV-rerun-induced stupor, and she remembered with alarm that she...

DON'T GOT A CLUE Monday, November 14, 2005 at 12:21:47

left her purse at the McHaggis!!!! But then a knock at the door revealed a strange looking man holding her purse. "Hi" he said "My name is Gutbucketbob, and I found this purse at the McHaggis, and your Unleaded Fuel Only driver's license was in it, so I brought it to you, but..."

jobeee Tuesday, November 29, 2005 at 14:35:35

I'm afraid I've become attached to it. It's so pretty! I'm sorry, but I cannot possibly return it to you, you see, it is my precious." And, stroking the purse manaically, Gutbuckebob turned and left Ernestine's life forever. "Well that was a pointless visit," thought Ernestine, "and I'm now without any UFO driver's license and, most importantly my...

Loz Friday, December 2, 2005 at 20:15:10

"...20 year old laser disc player is obselete!" She paused to think for a moment. "Perhaps I should acquire one of these new dee-vee-dee thingies, and modify it so I can acquire a new unleaded fuel only licence. Or at least watch Braveheart." So she set off immediately to the land of the Boogillians, the famed manufacturers of premium concumer electronics. To get there she had to...

Pedantic Monday, December 5, 2005 at 06:05:25

...watch three episodes of "Farscape," followed by three back-to-back viewings of "Plan Nine from Outer Space." Her father walked in on the beginning of the third viewing and said, "what do you think I am, a typewriter?" Ernestine thought this was so funny that she fell on the floor, rolling back anbd forth, filled with mirth. Meanwhile, The Invasion had begun...

Michael Wednesday, December 28, 2005 at 14:26:59

...the invasion of a small, yellow, discarded plastic wrapper. You see, what with military cutbacks, both McHaggis and Haggis King's militaries weren't really what they used to be in the good old days. Things were grand before both sovreignities suffered through the devastating Popsi/Cake Cola wars twenty years previously. As McHaggis and Haggis King were allied with Cake and Popsi, respectively, they were unfortunately drawn into the conflict. Having exhausted the resources of each and every grease quarry in the known world, both sides struggled bitterly onward in their ages-long conflict. Which, as they say, only goes to prove

Talki Wednesday, January 4, 2006 at 14:51:23

that Haggis will never be the same....but that was only until McHaggis discovered a new formula to cover up the missing special touch grease once gave, and this formula was consisted of the unimaginable ingredients,..

dunk Thursday, January 5, 2006 at 11:14:59

a pig heart, a human brain, a welsh person and a manchester united football club supporter

Pedantic. Monday, January 9, 2006 at 06:05:04

The final incantation done, Ernestine found herself in the bowels of a huge Kirkuit Kity, where, stacked to the ceiling in twenty rows of productivity-depriving splendor, was every kind of Dee-Vee-Dee that a spell-bound couch potato could ask for. "Please, mister?" she pleaded to the squat toadstool with a nametag affixed to its stalk, "Jake" prominent in its white rectangle, "May I get a Dee-Vee-Dee?" "NO!" replied the toadstool. "Not until you swear off fungus eating and go to planet McHaggis, where they will festoon you with purple spaghetti and green glow-in-the-dark spaghetti sauce! Only then will I allow you to take one of our precious Dee-Vee-Dees!" Ernestine sighed. "This story," she said in a breathless kind of whine, "is getting a little kinky. Can we clean it up please?"

Dahmm Sunday, January 15, 2006 at 14:10:44

and, having successfully distracted the toadstool by the funniness of the word 'kinky', she STOLE a dee-vee-dee, and ATE IT! she then ran from the kirkuit kity, hotly pursued by..

_and_going_and_going Friday, January 20, 2006 at 09:44:36

The DHLS (department of home land sorcery); because the Dee-vee-dee Ernestine just ate had the last known spell to turn Uackpuntkurkus into energy efficient fuel. Now were gone the days of subsidized gloe-fuel. The wars on McHaggis and Haggis king, destroyed the last remnant of gloe-fuel… Now with the only resource being magical conversions… those who tampered, inactivate or destroyed magical artifacts will be prosecuted to all the extent of the law. Ernestine now hanging on thread finer that the web of a spider for her eating habits had no other choice than…

Roohani Saturday, January 21, 2006 at 14:46:40

to plan something quickly, before it was too late. she was just figuring out what to do when she found her old friend, the horse. she quickly got on top of him and began riding it. she told him to go left, but with horror she realised that it was going straight, right into the enchanted football ground. she couldnot even jump off bcoz of the horse's speed. she screamed as they entered the ground and suddenly a ball hit her squarely in the face. she saw the man who purposely kicked it in her face and thought that he was familiar. she racked her brains to remember who he was when it all suddenly came to her...

jobeee Sunday, January 22, 2006 at 19:31:36

it was gutbucketbob.

Anonamyous Monday, January 23, 2006 at 19:47:09

The realization of who he was brought back horrifying memories of the past. She fainted as the horror flooded through her mind

Anonamyous Monday, January 23, 2006 at 19:50:08

As she came too all disoriented she couldnt help wonder if this all was a dream. Her mind was cloudy as she forced herself to recall the terrible events that had happend. Could all this be real? Hasnt she suffered enough or is it a very bad dream?

Pedantic Wednesday, February 1, 2006 at 06:45:42

She rubbed her middle eye with a green limb shiny with yellow mucous. "Yuk!" she shouted as she stood among the strange plants in the Crystal Forest. "Where did this come from?" she asked no one as she scraped mustard goo from her forelimb. "It came from your metafloral gland at the base of your astothorax," a learned voice cooed. "And it looks very, very tasty on you!" Before she could scream, a long, dry tongue snapped itself around her middle and jerked her forward into the cavernous opening of a huge Thiggerix's toothy mouth. One chomp and she was sliding down a dark, wet tunnel into a rather smelly pool of bubbling glop. "Oh my," she said half-heartedly, "this is going to play havoc with my hair!"

Ashli Wednesday, February 1, 2006 at 12:23:54

" think it looks wonderfull on you says....

Ashli (Correction) Wednesday, February 1, 2006 at 12:25:21

(The abouve sentance was support to start with I)"I think it looks wonderful on you" says......

Loz Friday, February 3, 2006 at 05:26:38

Dr. Ernesto Fantallo. Yes! It was the evil neurosurgeon from the start of the story! (Scroll up if you don't believe me!) He was sitting in the moist dark playing with his tangram set at a radiata pine desk, with little flower motifs on it. "What are you doing here?" she demanded to know.

Pedantic Monday, February 13, 2006 at 06:50:22

"Oh," he said, lighting a Fatima and blowing a smoke ring toward the pink ceiling of the Thiggerix's tummy, "I'm waiting for Emilio Lizardo. We have an appointment together. We are going to conquer this world." Ernestine, who began washing in the glop, finding that green came off with each stroke, to be replaced with a lovely lavender color, said, "from the belly of a Thiggerix? Boy, buddy, you and Emilio both must have hit that wall too hard." "Are you smoking down there?" The Thiggerix shouted angrily. "I will not abide smoking in my gullet!"

jobeee Tuesday, February 21, 2006 at 20:10:04

Alas, since he had already eaten the heinous smoker, there was nothing he could do. But there was something Ernestine could do...

Roohani Thursday, March 16, 2006 at 12:35:28

...but that could wait. She first had to go to the bathroom urgently....she had drinken too much water and now she felt disgusting. So she started looking around for a bathroom when suddenly -

Ruj Saturday, March 18, 2006 at 09:28:05

she realised she was right inthe middle of the Sahara Desert with a two humped buck tooth camel..

Anonamyous Wednesday, March 22, 2006 at 15:59:20

that was picking the remains of a double-decker McHaggis with swiss and extra pickles out of its braces. Once again she began to wonder about her grip on reality. Had there been something in the water? Had there actually ever been any water?

Anonamyous Sunday, March 26, 2006 at 20:29:30

Water? Water does not exist on Ernestine's home planet- that was merely an indigenous fluid on that so-called 'Earth' planetoid. So how did she end up there? She was about to find out...

jobeee Sunday, March 26, 2006 at 20:30:02

Water? Water does not exist on Ernestine's home planet- that was merely an indigenous fluid on that so-called 'Earth' planetoid. So how did she end up there? She was about to find out...

Pedantic Friday, March 31, 2006 at 06:18:28

Water? Water does not exist on Ernestine's home pla--Fred banged the side of the record player, and knocked the needle out of the damaged groove. "Now," he said as he chewed softly on the thighbone of a male something-or-the-other he found laying along the side of the road, "where's our birthday present, my Precious?" "Oh bother," Ernestine said. "I preferred it back in the Thiggerix's tummy with Ernesto and his foul Fatima."

Roohani Wednesday, April 19, 2006 at 03:06:21

Now all this was getting too much. Why couldnt she just get a bathroom? She felt absolutely sick and now this person is concerned about a present? She would have to teach him a lesson....so she -

Cory V Tuesday, May 9, 2006 at 18:56:13

pooed...

jeswinnie Thursday, May 11, 2006 at 23:05:32

he was so scared

Pedantic Thursday, May 25, 2006 at 17:56:38

"My Prrrecious," he purred, "I'm so scared, my Precious (gollum-gollum)"

Andrew Wednesday, August 16, 2006 at 12:37:10

Earnestine shook herself awake. The fever had at long last, had finally broke. Her nightmare from hell seemed soooo real. The stench of Gutbucketbob seemed to still be in her nostrils. Glancing over at the wall clock she was shocked to see that only ten minutes had passed, even though she had virtually lived what seemed three lifetimes. Going on and on and on and on. Suddenly! from under the

Pedantic Sunday, August 27, 2006 at 18:09:58

rug popped out the face of Alfred E. Neumann. "It's a mad world," he said conversationally. "And its going to get madder!" he shouted, followed by a raucous peal of manic laughter. Slinging his Uzzi from underneath the carpet, he focused it on the center of Ernestine's forehead, and pulled the trigger...

jobeee Monday, September 4, 2006 at 06:42:47

only for a little flag touting "BANG!" to pop out. Alfred fell into heaves of maniacal cacchination as Ernestine pondered over this bizarre turn of events. She decided that the best course of action would be to

Mylodias Tuesday, September 5, 2006 at 14:19:50

Become one of the eagles in the air that spread their wings from side to side to do this action known as flying. Using this unusually purple stone she happened to find two feet from her labeled "Turns you into a talking eagle", she...turned herself into an eagle.

Mylodias Tuesday, September 5, 2006 at 14:21:37

(That talks)

buttercup Wednesday, September 13, 2006 at 11:00:57

At this point, the only really big obstacle facing her was how to get out of this small, claustrophobic bedroom-like closet of a dwellingplace as a huge eagle. since there were no doors and the window was too small for a massive fowl such as herself, she rested her eyes on her last hope...

Pedantic Monday, September 18, 2006 at 17:52:42

bazooka, fully loaded and primed for release. Darn it all, however, her beak could not get to the trigger...

Katee Saturday, September 30, 2006 at 20:21:16

and just then she realized she was in a nightmare and there was the latest issue of AbsoluteRobeo , Oh heavens she said and

Andrew Monday, October 9, 2006 at 08:48:32

With three clicks of her beak, She kept repeating...There's no place like Nome Alaska...There's no place like Nome Alaska...The claustrophobic bedroom with the loaded bazooka, Disappeared like a vapor. Earnestine soared through crystaline blue skies, over heavily wooded forests and streams far below. She looked up, just in time to see a huge

Linnet Woods Wednesday, November 22, 2006 at 07:55:47

airship drifting high above her. She gasped in amazement as she realized that this was not just any airship but the original Hindenberg. Somehow she must have fallen through a wormhole and been jettisoned back to the early 20th century. This was too special not to be shared with someone. Whipping out her interstellar pager she contacted

Pedantic Thursday, November 30, 2006 at 07:00:18

Tupio and said in a golden voice (okay, it was more of a screech) "I've just spotted the Hindenberg. Gotta match?"

Andrew Thursday, November 30, 2006 at 09:34:55

Just as it was about to get good...The bus Ernestine was riding on Hit a fire hydrant...Jolting her out of her Hindenberg bar-b-q fantasy. The sun blazed down, Hotter than the door handle on a Caddilac El-Dorado in July.Ernestine Stepped from the bus, Her future was looking like an over-cooked

Anonamyous Wednesday, December 6, 2006 at 18:33:24

but whats this? a jewel she find sparkling next to her feet she picks it up and

Eh? Thursday, December 7, 2006 at 16:51:56

throws it back down

Andrew Monday, December 11, 2006 at 10:22:33

Ernestine thought out loud..."After the last couple of Jewels that I found, the last thing I need is another piece of cheap costume jewelry that would change me into some kind of Wierd Harold, Gutbucketbob creature with three heads, or sixteen arms or seven..."

Pedantic Tuesday, December 12, 2006 at 06:00:11

...too late she realized that she was sprouting two extra heads, another fourteen arms and five more eyeballs spaced evenly about the bony collar forming on her neck(s). "I shouldn't a touched it!" she shrieked from three mouths,giving the words a chord-like quality. She moved her twenty-one legs in a rolling jog toward the nearest high cliff. "This is too much! I must end it before my friend Alfred E. Neumann sees me!" The cliff loomed closer and closer. There it was! She jumped!

Andrew Tuesday, December 12, 2006 at 10:39:54

...Hoping to end it all, but alas, as Ernestine tumbled three heads over twenty one heels, four wings the size of the jib-sail on the cutty sark sprouted between the curvature of her three spines. "I just can't seem to do anything right" she wailed as she floated on the updrafts from the cliff. Oh...if only Bob the bubbling bazooka baker boy was here with his...

NancyJK Thursday, January 25, 2007 at 03:55:17

...magic box, she could use it's powers to fly to a safe haven. But then she realizes that her four wings were still in pretty good shape, so she extended them out, as wide as possible, soaring over the mountains and the oceans, until she realizes that she is lost, and decides to land and regroup her plans. So she lands on solid ground, right next to this beautiful waterfall, when.....

Andrew Thursday, January 25, 2007 at 12:30:50

Pedantic, giving Alfred E. Neumann a piggy back ride, comes around the corner of a boulder outcropping next to the waterfall. Alfred is smittened by Ernestine's multi-faceted beauty, Her irredescent wings shimmering in the late afternoon sun and the rising mist of the waterfall. Albert falls from Pedantic's shoulders, with a grin larger than His face and croons breathlessly...

NancyJK Thursday, January 25, 2007 at 14:14:09

...just happy to see Ernestine alive! When,all of a sudden he sees, creeping up behind Ernestine, his biggest rival of ALL TIME! The only one, that he KNOWS can steal Ernestines passion from him,...

Andrew Friday, January 26, 2007 at 07:00:17

It is NancyJK, and PitstopPenny, each holding a wicker basket piled high with blueberry muffins and Cinnamon raisin bread. Alfred realizes that He just can't stop drooling. With desperation in His voice He turns to Pedantic and cries out, "Quick, we can...

NancyJK Saturday, January 27, 2007 at 03:15:10

"grab the chow, and I'll grab Ernestine! She won't go with, unless we got the food! Watch out for that fiery redhead NancyJK, she's wild and dangerous! Come on now.....

Andrew Monday, January 29, 2007 at 07:10:16

Pedantic interupts Alfred's panic strickened tirade..."Whoa, Al baby, I know you have your pennies in a bunch over Ernestine. But I'm intrigued with that wild and crazy looking redhead NancyJK, Besides there looks like between her and PitstopPenny there is plenty to eat" The color and His grin ran away from Alfred's face, with a trembling in his voice Alfred croaked "You don't know who your dealing with!, Just last week that "cute" redhead...

Pedantic Tuesday, January 30, 2007 at 09:38:36

...gave birth to this guy named Andrew! He then spent two days growing old enough and literate enough to contribute to this story! Then she ran off to Tahiti and blew away half the forest with Bazooka Bob's bazooka, and that was after challenging Tahiti's mayor to a drinking contest that made Annie Oakley's penchant for drink look like nothing! Oh ghod, speak of the devil!" At that moment, Andrew, looking a svelte and mature 21, arrives on the scene, bows to his mother and engages Ernestine in a lip lock. "Stop that!" his mother shouts. "Or at least get a room..."

Andrew Tuesday, January 30, 2007 at 11:32:53

...Don't you know there are some present here that have never kissed let alone, Hummm...Well hello Pedantic, sweetie, let me introduce myself, I'm NancyJK, and this is my youngest son Andrew, What do you say we go to Tahiti, I know the Mayor,and we can have a few...Before she has a chance tofinish her "thought" Alfred just goes ballistic...

NancyJK Saturday, February 3, 2007 at 06:36:15

.."Just hold on a minute! There will be NO party without me! I'm the one who made this happen, and I will not let anyone go without me!" NancyJK says "Not to worry, Alfred, we just have to find something for PitstopPenny to do, and we can be on our way!" All of a sudden they see Ernastine eating the last of the blueberry muffins, and as she takes the last bite, 2 of her three heads, and 2 of her winged arms fall off of her, with a loud, earth shaking.....

Andrew Monday, February 5, 2007 at 06:32:38

Sigh of relief, Ernestine has returned to her radiant self...Vowing to never pick up another jewel...She brushes Andrew aside and winks at Alfred. Pedantic, smiling, showing off both of his front teeth, slips his arm around NancyJK. NancyJK snaps her fingers and says I know what we can have PitstopPenny do, We will have her...

Snidley Whiplash Monday, February 5, 2007 at 10:08:27

Andrew - You really mean both of his teeth - not both of his front teeth. I know this Pedantic charactor, you don't want to give him "two" much credit.

Andrew Monday, February 5, 2007 at 10:13:09

O.K. thanks for the clarification Snidley...Let's get back to the story...Gee whiz some peoples children...NancyJK was saying, I know what we can have PitstopPenny do, We will have her...

NancyJK Monday, February 5, 2007 at 11:40:00

you guys are mean-..."go get us a vehicle from McHaggis' parking lot, nobody will notice they all drive the same vehicles anyway! When she gets back I want to go do some celebrating,we can do whatever we want because SKIES the LIMIT! I still have ALL the money, that crazy old Thunda-downunda gave me when he left! We'll have to pay Pitstop for the run, but then I think we can ditch her, ok? fun,..fun,..FUN!", NanyJK says with a devious giggle. The clan all knew she was up to something they just couldnt put their finger on...

Andrew Monday, February 5, 2007 at 12:52:23

Why Snidley can't spell, Or that Dear,Gentle, Considerate Andrew would be puton the "You guys are mean" list. After all Andrew would never "ditch Pitstop" or Steal a vehicle, Or...looking around, suddenly realize that Alfred and Ernestine have vanished with all of NancyJK's Cash. Who knew that NancyJK's face could be redder than her hair...Ohwatch out America NancyJK is gonna blow her top and

NancyJK Wednesday, February 28, 2007 at 13:23:13

....believe you me, the WORLD is about to experience their first Universal Global Warming Affect! NancyJK became soo enraged, she begsn sweating and humming the song by Bob Seger "Fire Down Below". When all of a sudden she stopped and a smile came across her face, a devious smile that made them wonder, "Oh BOY! What is up with her now!?" She slowly turned around and walked about 10 ft. away and sat down on the ground, pulled out a transmitter, and turned it on......

Andrew Thursday, March 1, 2007 at 08:30:06

Ernestine had no earthly idea that the Blueberry muffins that NancyJK and Pitstoppenny had baked, and that she had so greedily gobbled up contained a miniature radio reciever and enough C-4explosives to blow a crater, out of solid rock, the size of...

NancyJK Friday, March 2, 2007 at 18:32:58

...the state of Indiana. NancyJK CAN..and probably WILL put an end to all of us! "Well, well, well ladies and gentlemen, how BAD do you really want to be alive, on this earth anymore? If someone doesnt get off their high horse, and get my money back, We will ALL be finished! It's your choice, someone better make a move, before I get twitchy fingers!"

Andrew Monday, March 5, 2007 at 09:06:02

Pedantic sees the danger that Ernestine and Alfred is in. He quickly scurries over to NancyJK and unlaces the knee high combat boot from her right foot, removes the boot and starts kissing her toes saying this little one went to market...Pedantic pleads, "Please Alfred E. Numann is my best and only friend...Let me call on the only superhero that can help us...The caped Robeo". Pedantic leaps to his feet, throws back his head, and Tarzan Yells...Rrrroooobbbbeeeeeoooooo !

leonessa Tuesday, April 3, 2007 at 07:25:24

....then he sits an waits for his one and only super hero to come ... and he waits some more ... "OK" he says, "Lets try this one more time", and in his most manly Tarzan voice he calls out, "Rooooobbbbbbbeeeeeeeooooooo!!" as soon as he finishes his most manly Tarzan voice call for his one and only super hero, a puff of smoke apears, and tada dadaaaaa! "Robeo is here to save the daaaaaaaay!" he belts in a... not so manly voice, but thats perfectly fine with Pedantic because as afore mentioned that is his one and only super hero!!! Pedantic looks up to see Robeo ...

Andrew Tuesday, April 3, 2007 at 09:45:47

Reaching over and snags the ominously dangerous transmitter out of NancyJK'stwitchy fingers so quickly that the puff off smoke he arrived in didn't even have a chance to dissipate. NancyJK whines "No fair" as Robeo removes the nine volt battery from the back. "They stole close to a million dollars from me" Robeo freezes and looks over at Pendantic and says...

leonessa Friday, April 6, 2007 at 06:52:34

" Are you kidding me? She wants to blow everything to smitherines because someone stole her money?" Robeo rolls his eyes and says " Look NancyJK you cant just go around trying to blow people up bc someone took your money. Now if you want the money back, then call on me next time, and I will find it for you." NancyJK Looks at Robeo and thinks to herself - If only I had a brain - She walks over to Robeo with tears of regret in her eyes and as she starts to embrass Robeo she tries to snach the detonator an batteries out of his hand! Robeo says, " Ha! an you thought that I was going to fall for that! Its the oldest trick ever!" he grabs a rope that just happens to be laying around an ties NancyJK to the nearest tree. " But I want my monnnneeeyyyyyyyy!" NancyJK whines. "Thank you so much Robeo I knew that if I used my most manly tarzan voice that you would come!" Pendantic exclaims. " Now if you could just ...

Andrew Tuesday, April 10, 2007 at 08:58:13

...perhaps persuade her to Ummm...like me, and forget about her blasted money" Pandantic looks at Robeo with sad puppy dog eyes and a quivering pooch lipped expression, whispers..."Just look at those toes, that red hair, Those freckles." Robeo sighs, "Pandantic you have got to be nuts, She was going to blow up Alfred your only friend, AND Ernestine, You got to draw the line somewhere and just move on. What about Leonessa? She hasn't attempted to blow anyone up. Maybe she will like you" Pendantic whimpers..."Pleeeeaassee you just gotta give it...

leonessa Wednesday, April 11, 2007 at 12:15:48

.. a try Robeo.. then if she still dont like me, I'll talk to Leonessa an see if she's interested in whatever ... but I really really an I do mean Really like NancyJK." Robeo gives a hopeless look to the sky an wonders to himself why he's even going to bother with this insurmountable task. He gives Pandantic one last glance before walking slowly up to NancyJK, he looks back to where everyone is standing then starts to speak to NancyJK, "NancyJK I have a really sweet deal for you, if you agree to this deal I'll let you free for now, but if you dont agree or if you try any funny business then I'm going to take you the the Hell Dimension where I will leave you for a life time. Which everyone knows that the Hell Dimension is the worst possible place to be sent to, but you have to agree to the terms first." NancyJK looks at Robeo and says, " Well Robeo ...

Andrew Wednesday, April 11, 2007 at 12:40:22

...My soon to be hero, will the terms mean you will help me get my money back?I do promise to be a good (snicker) girland not blow anything or anybody to smitherines." NancyJK beams with a smileso big and bright that even Robeo is momentarily charmed by it. Robeo remembers the groveling Pendantic and sighs. "One thing at a time, Pendanticthinks you are all that AND a bag of chips, He asked me to..."Before Robeo could finish his reply, Another Tarzan yell sounds in the distance and Robeo disappears in a poof of smoke, Leaving everybody looking around dumbfounded at one another. NancyJK cries. "Untie me, and let's...

leonessa Thursday, April 12, 2007 at 04:57:51

... find my moneyyyyyyyy, I swear I agree to whatever just get my money back! Oh yeah and untie me aswell!" As Pandantic hears her pleads for mercy and money his heart swells with love, he thinks, and so he marches over to the tree where NancyJK has been tied up an crying and pleading and really just making a mess of her make-up, and he says to her, "NancyJK I want you to date me, and if you agree then I will untie you an help you find your money, do we got a deal?" NancyJK starts to temble and looks at Pandantic with such a gleam in her eyes that Pandantic just knew that she liked,maybe loved, him just as much as he did her and with the look still on her face NancyJK says, " Yes Pandantic we have a deal for I have liked, maybe loved, you for such a long time now, why its probably been a whole 10 seconds! Please untie me so that we can go find my money and celebrate our new found relationship!" With that said Pandantic rushed the rest of the way to the tree an slices through the rope binding NancyJK. He helps her away from the tree and then they hug for about 2 seconds until NancyJK see's the others rushing toward them she hurridly tells Pandantic, " My Beloved, we must leave now because the others will never believe that we both care for eachother, come lets run and hide until we can fid a way out of here." Pandantic, with a hurried mumble of agrement, leads the way. Meanwhile back as the others arive at the tree where NancyJK had been tied Ernestine wonders aloud ...

Andrew Thursday, April 12, 2007 at 08:00:54

...I wonder if they will ever find us" "Alfred" Ernestine Coos. "We are rich...that NancyJK thought she could just walk away with Uncle Thunda-downunda'smoney that he left me in his will, I knew we would meet again, I just didn't think it was going to be this easy getting it back." Ernestine notices Alfred shaking like a leaf. Ernestine with a voice like warm honey sweetly says. "Alfred what's the matter baby?"With a quiver in His voice Alfred replies. "You just don't know NancyJK...She may now be teamed up Pedantic...They would be relentless in

leonessa Friday, April 13, 2007 at 07:09:34

... their search for all that money, NancyJK was already going to blow us all to smithereens and she didn’t even know that it was us that had the money." Ernestine looks Alfred in the eyes an tells him, " Al baby, now don’t you go worrying over NancyJK, I'm here an nothing is ever going to happen to you as long as we are together." She steps over to Alfred and hugs him close and as she leans in to kiss him Robeo appears in a puff of smoke, "Now back to what I was saying about the deal ... Hold up where is NancyJK an Pedantic?" Ernestine gives Robeo an innocent look and, " Whatever do you mean Robeo? We thought that you took them with you." Robeo cocks a brow at her as if thinking you don't really think that I believe that do you? " Well NancyJK is a dangerous person and very conniving so if they are together then we need to find them and save Pedantic from her whiles and charm." With a look from Ernestine, Alfred and Robeo head off into ..

Andrew Monday, April 16, 2007 at 07:12:15

...the wild blue yonder, skimming over the tree tops at dizzying speeds. They were going so fast that Alfred's ears almost touched in the back of his head. Alfred tryed shouting for Robeo to slow down, but the wind ripped the words out of His mouth. The flapping of Robeo's purple and fluorescent green cape was asloud as standing next to a F-16 Tomcat at full throttle. Robeo stops on a dime in mid-air. Alfred swallows back His breakfast. There next to the beautiful waterfall, Pedantic and NancyJK were theonly ones in sight. They seemed to be "preoccupied" with...

leonessa Monday, April 16, 2007 at 11:05:45

... searching eachothers mouths for cavities.. with their tongues... ahem ... and so Robeo kinda hovers above them just waiting for them to move so that he could land with his passengers safely.. he finaly got tired of waiting an said in a not so manly voice, "Ahem, Pedantic, NancyJK, if you would be so kind as to Move so that I can set these whiney, cry babies down, I would much apreciate it." They looked up and a red flush mounted their faces as they separated an gave Robeo the room for his landing, they decided to go ahead an tell the group of their plans, " Well group, we want to tell ya'll about us talkin about maybe, possibly gettin hitched." Pedantic said with a huge cheesey grin on his face. Then as he looked into NancyJK's eyes Robeo Froze time! Robeo looks around at the mess everyone has gotten themselfs into since this story began and thinks to himself ...

Andrew Monday, April 16, 2007 at 12:18:14

..."Gee this all started when Ernestine stepped off a bus, on a hot July day Just outside Nohaggisforyou (A small subdivision of Coral gables Florida)where only grass huts are allowed to be constructed...Hummm...Amazing." With a snap of his super-hero fingers, NancyJK is unfrozen, Robeo and her are the only ones able to move. Robeo says to NancyJK. "Look I know about Ernestine's uncle Thunda-downunda. and His will stating that Ernestine was to inherit this money...That you stole it from her...What do you have to say for yourself?" NancyJK sheepishly traces her toes in the sand. Robeo continues, "I think you can all still be friends. I can tell you have found a new relationship that is desperate need of a room. I tell ya what I'll do for you...

leonessa Tuesday, April 17, 2007 at 06:39:11

.. I'll set you and your new fella up in a beautiful resort in Nohaggisforyou all expences paid, if you will give up the money to Ernestine. After you are off with Pedantic and Ernestine is off with Alfred then all will be ok again. And then I can get back to saving the lives of countless people that accually need me." At that momment Robeo hears a Tarzan cry for help and poofs in a ball of smoke to leave them looking dumbfound at eachother... as they stand there next to the waterfall looking at eachother NancyJK says ....

Andrew Tuesday, April 17, 2007 at 07:35:14

..."Oh what a pity you are all still frozen in time, and Robeo is off doing...What ever Super-heros do." NancyJK looks over toward the waterfall and notices that Robeo left the transmitter and the nine volt battery just laying on the ground.NancyJK walks up to Ernestine and flicks her nose with her finger. NancyJKlooks hard into Ernestine's eyes and says. "Just because your Uncle left YOUthat money, Does not mean you get to keep it". NancyJK starts to hum a happy to her tune and leisurely strolls toward the blueberry muffin C-4 detonating transmitter (earlier in the story...Really)Oh my the fate of Ernestine, and the state of Indiana is in the hands of...

Testerprb Tuesday, April 17, 2007 at 12:53:21

Helloayd - this is just a testing, don't worry about it

leonessa Wednesday, April 18, 2007 at 10:29:05

... my little friend!" She pulls out a little Green man the size of a match stick an askes him, " What you think Jack-O should we keep the money an blow everything to bits?" Jack-O responds with a "Kerblogkioge shivey wattshogaga nibbley bupa." which translates to, "where are we an who are we blowing to bits?" NancyJK proceeds to explain eveything to Jack-O the little green man an then he agree's that they should blow everything and everyone to bits. (Just because he's an alien and he seems to like a little bit of destruction every once and again) So NancyJK flips the detonation device over and ...

Andrew Wednesday, April 18, 2007 at 12:25:57

...loads the nine volt battery in the transmitter, Looks over to Ernestine and waves as she says "Bye-Bye" Jack-O the green Bupahead is jumping for joy. NancyJK ducks behind a boulder,and flips the toggle...Poof, out of a cloud of smoke a hand faster than lightning darts out and snatches the transmitter out of NancyJK's twitchy fingers...Robeo towers over NancyJK and points a well aimed finger like a pistol...Poof Jack-O is green slime splatter on the boulder where theywere "Hiding"...Robeo holds a circuit board between thumb and forefinger of his other hand and says. "NancyJk, Your transmitter is useless without this, and now that the Jack-O demon has been destroyed, We will all notice more human behavior out of you". NancyJK looks up at Robeo with tears in her eyes and says "I'm free, the headache I have had for a decade is gone..." Robeo says, It was not my doing...Jesus set you free...I didn't even pull the trigger on my finger gun...Give Him your thanks...

leonessa Thursday, April 19, 2007 at 05:07:03

... because he loves you enough to take on your burdens for you. You want to know something NancyJK, a great man once said that destiny is not a thing of change, its a matter of choice. You should choose your destiny now, take the steps needed to be a better person in general, destiny is not a thing to be waited for its a thing to be achieved, so you should go on out an achieve something for yourself if for no other reason." As Robeo finished talking to NancyJK he saw this... for lack of a better word... glow about her. She looks at Robeo with this new knowledge and seems to be filled with understanding now. She nodded at Robeo and then turned to her new friends an she realized that Robeo had unfroze them while he was talking with her, Pedantic walks up to her and ...

Pedantic Thursday, April 19, 2007 at 06:25:33

...slaps her silly! "Bwaa Haa Haa!" he laughed demonically and waving his hands like a super-stupid B-Movie villain. "You all thought that I was just a love-sick neurotic when in reality I am an evil genius looking for...

Andrew Thursday, April 19, 2007 at 06:25:51

...says. "I see a difference in you, there is a twinkle in your eyes, Your whole face is smiling...What happened?"NancyJK replied. "I have found and discovered Peace for the first time in my life - I'm free"...Pedantic admits."Gee...I'm not where I should be..."Before Pedantic could finish his thoughtfrom the very top of the Waterfall, Gutbucketbob, riding a surf board down the cascade, laughing with delight, shouts over to the group...

leonessa Thursday, April 19, 2007 at 10:46:01

-ummm which chapter do we go with? both of those were submited within seconds of eachother.-

Andrew Thursday, April 19, 2007 at 11:44:09

Hummm...interesting, well Leonessa, There are possibilities with both tracks...Follow your Heart, choose one and lead us out of the Chaos Dearheart.

leonessa Friday, April 20, 2007 at 05:33:01

... Meanwhile on the other side of the waterfall Alfred is sitting under the shade tree watching these simultaneous events he's shocked and amazed at Pedantic, seeing how he seems to have split personalities going from one extreme to the other .. An he's wondering if NancyJK has really had a change of heart and is really free from the Demonic alien, which in Alfred's opinion was very scary to find out that a demonic alien was in her pocket an he was standing next to her at one time, hence how he got to be on the other side of the waterfall from the group because when he seen it he jumped in the river and swam across to get away from it and the rest of them. Now no sooner than he reached the other side he catches a glimpse of Gutbucketbob surfing down the waterfall yelling in another language that Alfred didn’t understand but to the best of his knowledge Gutbucketbob looked highly upset shaking his fist an yelling to the top of his lungs at Robeo and NancyJK, over on the other side of the waterfall Ernestine translates for Gutbucketbob, "He says that he's going to kill us because he wants the money that belongs to me that I inherited from my dead uncle Thunda-downunda!" At this point Robeo turns to the group to find them all gapping at him with one unspoken question in the air...

Andrew Friday, April 20, 2007 at 05:58:26

WELLLLLLL, what ARE you going to do? Ohcaped righter of wrongs?...In a blur too fast for the eye to follow...Robeo plucks a thick grape-vine from an oak tree, and wraps up Pedantic on one side of Gutbucketbob's surf board and then Gutbucketbob on the other side.Pedantic cries out in a whiny, far from manly voice "I want my Mommmmaaaaa" Thewhole group, including Gutbucketbob breaks out in laughter. Robeo wiping tears from His eyes from laughing so hard, looks at the group and says...

leonessa Friday, April 20, 2007 at 08:32:26

... "Well I think that we have avoided enough catastrophies for one day I'll just leave Whiney and Bob, also known as Pedantic and Gutbucketbob, tied together for the night over there, and we can get some rest here by this waterfall ... so lets make camp an get on with this journey." So they all pitch in and ...

Andrew Friday, April 20, 2007 at 09:28:08

...made camp for the night. While everyone was busy about gathering dinnerof fruit, nuts and berries from the surrounding area. Pedantic, the genius momma's boy whispered to Gutbucketbob;"I have them right where I want them. Did you see how I stopped Robeo's fist with my chin...five times? They will soon be asleep, then we can..."

Andrew Friday, April 20, 2007 at 09:33:13

...made camp for the night. While everyone was busy going about gathering their dinner of fruit, nuts and berries from the surrounding area. Pedantic, the genius momma's boy whispered to Gutbucketbob; "I have them right where I want them. Did you see how I stopped Robeo's fist with my chin...five times? They will soon be asleep, then we can gnaw through this grapevine unseen and they will be at our..."

leonessa Friday, April 20, 2007 at 11:08:13

.. Mercy and you can do whatever you want to them as long as I get to kill them all!" and then he let out a quiet kind of womanly evil laugh where as he didn’t want to draw any attention to himself. But unbeknownst to him Alfred had been left on the other side of the river where he was making his own plans for the night, which included....

Andrew Friday, April 20, 2007 at 12:04:37

Making sure that Ernestine and himself would be able to slip away. Preferably while everyone got comfortable for the night. Alfred really didn't care about the money, just Ernestine. He knew thatHe was Pedantic's only friend. And He knew that all he had to do to get Pedantic back to "normal" was to whisper "Potato pancake" in His ear, and the hypnosis he went through when he was six years old, would bring Him back to the Pedantic he knew and loved. He would then beg for NancyJK's forgiveness. And all would be well. These thoughts stampeded through Alfred's mind, Suddenly the thought came to Him, "Why not just get up and walk over there now ?" He has nothing to fear, Gutbucketbob is tied up. So Alfred stood to His feet...

Lindsey Friday, April 20, 2007 at 14:39:40

and tripped over a chair.

leonessa Monday, April 23, 2007 at 05:08:52

... He then looks down at the chair in surprise thinking how in the world did this chair get all the way out here? Baffled but determined Alfred trudges on to the river bank an glides noiselessly into the cool waters, then begins the swim to the opposite bank ... meanwhile at the opposite bank ... Ernestine is watching Alfred an wondering what in the world he is doing swimming in 3ft of water she starts to go over there to inquire as to why when an arm snakes around her neck tugging her back into the brush at the same time another hand covers her mouth so she is unable to scream for help. Alfred had just looked up from his ragged breaststroke to see Ernestine being taken into the brush he stands up an starts to yell at Robeo when he trips.. Over that dang chair, he is again baffled as to how the chair got out there when he realized that he was losing time wondering over a chair an picks himself back up an charges through the water toward where Robeo an NancyJK where sitting peacefully by the campfire oblivious as to what events had taken place in these last few minutes. As Alfred sprints to the campfire Robeo saw him and stood up thus making NancyJK ...

Andrew Monday, April 23, 2007 at 07:38:29

...Hiccup and sneeze uncontrollably. Alfred is beside himself, squeaking like a newly crowned prom - queen... "Ernestine - abducted - bushes - chair -help her now." Robeo leaps towards the bushes tripping over "THE CHAIR". He gets up, dusts himself off, and...

Elocutor (a.k.a. Pedantic) Wednesday, April 25, 2007 at 11:23:57

...says to the air, "I really hate meatballs. Could someone tell the cook not to feed me meatballs anymore." Meanwhile, over in the brush a furious wrestling match is disturbing the harmony of the flora. Birds screech. Cats growl. Wolves snarl. Finally everything settles down and Ernestine rises trumphally, bloodied but not bowed, holding aloft the head of Numinous Nate, a ne'er-do-well who had a sentence of beheading handed down to him in twelve different dimensions. "I got him!" she crows! "I got him and now I can collect the reward money!"Numinous Nate, however, says "You cannot collect here. You have to go to the Paisely Dimension to collect. And they eat little girls in the Paisley Dimension, unless they are protected by a Numinous of some sort. I volunteer for the job!"Ernestine zapped a bewildered look at the severed, talking head. "You're in no shape to escort anyone, much less someone of my most exalted station. Alfred! You may escort me!" Alfred stood, beaming. "With pleasure, so long as we can stop at the planet Arrakis. I need more spice.""Whatever," she replied as she threw the head in an old hat box. Then she...

Andrew Thursday, April 26, 2007 at 06:26:09

...Walked over to NancyJK and Pedanticand said, "You have both made my life...Hummm...Interesting, I bid you good-bye somehow I just know I will meet up withyou again. Hopefully in the far distant future." Glancing over to Robeo,"Thanks for all the meatballs for our journey, and Ahhh...Would you take care of this Hat box, and that chair for us."Robeo answers with a bow and a smile.Ernestine takes Alfred's hand and says,"Let's begin this new adventure with...

leonessa Thursday, April 26, 2007 at 07:21:17

... Thats when Ernestine wakes up from the nightmare that had surrounded her while she was unconscious from the chloroform that her abductor had used to subdue her... she tries to sit up and realizes that she can not because she is tied to something.. she tries to open her eyes and at first she is startled because she believes her sight to have failed, then she remembered what had happened to her, the arms and the hand that held her silent while dragging her into the brush away from her dear love Alfred and away from Robeo and NancyJK. She decides to call for Robeo using the Tarzan yell ... she opens her mouth and screams it sounded Nothing like a Tarzan yell ... in fact it sounded more like a scream from a doomed to die chick in a B-Movie Horror flick.. but on the other side of the jungle Robeo heard the scream for help and was gone in a puff of smoke.... NancyJK and Alfred decide to stand watch over Pedantic and Gutbucketbob to make sure they don’t try any funny business and just as NancyJK starts over to the far side of camp where Pedantic and Gutbucketbob are tied up and trips over 'the chair', it is then that 'the chair' springs to life and ....

Andrew Thursday, April 26, 2007 at 11:27:47

...Wraps an arm around NancyJK's neck, and at the end of the other arm is pinned a chloroformed rag held across her nose and mouth. NancyJK drifts off into unconsiousness...Elecutor stands before her and he keeps repeating the same thing over and over..."Paisley dimension...Remember...Paisleydimension...It's your only hope...The Numinous are coming"...NancyJK comes slowly to the surface of consiousnessJust to find Robeo untieing Ernestine, and Ernestine sitting up rubbing her wrists muttering "Paisley dimension"A chill runs through NancyJK, and as Robeo is untieing her she asks Ernestinein a groggy trembling voice "Where did you hear of the Paisley Dimension?" Ernestine replies. "From this weird dream with this guy Eleocutor that looks alot like Pedantic, in it he justkept spouting..." Before Ernestine sayanother word, THE CHAIR is before them..

leonessa Saturday, April 28, 2007 at 23:46:44

.... Starting to Speak in a Deep Rusty sounding voice ... "You Humans think that your so much better than we pieces of furniture but you shall see that it is 'We' that are better for without us you would.." Before the Chair can finish its evil boring Rant Robeo Froze Time (its seeming like he likes to do that a lot) Robeo rolls his eyes unfreezes Alfred and asks him .....

Andrew Monday, April 30, 2007 at 08:00:31

"Alfred, where is the fire wood ax? Seems like we have a chair that is awareand even though that's rare, it is most certainly hard to bear, so let's takecare and beware, should the chair snare want to share with a sofa." Alfred shakes his head and says. "The wood ax is packed, why be crass and ask about the ax?...Robeo puts his hand up to stop Alfred from continuing to speak and says...

Leonessa Monday, April 30, 2007 at 11:14:19

... "Alfred dear buddy, I know that you thought that was funny, but I am the only one that’s aloud to rhyme at this place and time. I'm not holding the bag with the packed ax, so I had to ask, and I don’t think that crass." Alfred shakes his head and says, "Yes my buddy I did find it quite funny. So I wanted to keep in time with your style of rhyme, I didn’t see any harm and you don’t have to tweak my arm, I'll be glad to stop now so please don’t get mad. If you wish, before I go fish, as I know I wont be missed, I'll get the pack with the ax and be off far beyond to that great pond. I'll just wonder way off yonder after we start this fire before we all get to tired, this is the better way for tomorrow is just another hectic day." As Alfred finished he flashed a big grin at Robeo who just stood there looking grim, as he started to speak he gave him a wink and said....

Andrew Tuesday, May 1, 2007 at 06:02:47

...as he put his right foor on the chairRobeo's features began to change, he was metamorphosised before their very eyes. "I am Elocutor of boogar, Sadness is futile, sorrow is futile, you will laugh." Ernestine leans over to NancyJK and whispers. "Gee whiz, He looks alot like pedantic". NancyJK replies. "Call me crazy, but I'm getting this, weird overwhelming urge to tackle him, and tickle him, starting with his ribs."Alfred, dancing from foot to foot with joy, gleefully says...

Leonessa Wednesday, May 2, 2007 at 04:46:23

.... "Yeah! Lets tickle him till he cant stand it no more!" Ernestine and NancyJK look at eachother as in -wow what did we get ourselfs into- At that momment they were all Zapped! to the tree where ropes where tangling around them to hold them secure while Elocutor, whom really does look a lot like Pedantic, Stands there with his evil laugh roaring on and on and on and .. well you get the picture, so here we are... No Robeo to save them, tied to a tree in a tangle of ropes with Alfred acting like a school girl and Elocutor standing over them laughing like a evil mad man. This is when .....

Andrew Wednesday, May 2, 2007 at 05:47:47

Out of no where Andrew runs up to Elocutor and throws a bucket of icy coldwater from the pool below the waterfall.Elocutor bursts into a mushroom like ball of fire, that rises and disperses into the early evening sky. NancyJK saysbetween bursts of delightful barly contained laughter. "Now I want to tackle and tickle Andrew" Alfred in his squeeky school girl voice says. "Me too ! Me too!" Andrew saunders over to where they are tied and beams. "You areindeed a sight for sore eyes, You will never guess what happened to me...

Elocutor (a.k.a. Pedantic) Wednesday, May 2, 2007 at 07:19:35

"...I was assaulted by a green-eyed, pink-legged tarantula spouting weird rhymes, who claimed he was from the Paisley dimension." Andrew wiped some green, wet matter from his face. "The monstrous brute used its tongue to..."

Leonessa Wednesday, May 2, 2007 at 10:30:58

.... Wrap me up an he even tried to eat me while he was at it! So I took my handy pocket knife to slice his tongue off of me an then stabbed the creature to death while it tried to pull it's tongue back into it's mouth! So that night I had green-eyed, pink-legged tarantula livers for dinner, but I am here now to save the day... does anyone know what happend with Robeo?" Andrew looks around at everyone as they shrug their shoulders in answer and turns to Aflred as Alfred says .....

Leonessa Wednesday, May 2, 2007 at 10:33:41

.... Wrap me up an he even tried to eat me while he was at it! So I took my handy pocket knife to slice his tongue off of me an then stabbed the creature to death while it tried to pull it's tongue back into it's mouth! So that night I had green-eyed, pink-legged tarantula livers for dinner, but I am here now to save the day... does anyone know what happend with Robeo?" Andrew looks around at everyone as they shrug their shoulders in answer and turns to Aflred as Alfred says .....

Andrew Wednesday, May 2, 2007 at 10:53:14

"It's YOOOOUUUU, You devious, slinking, weasle, YOOOOUUUU rascal, Did you think for one second that I would forget what you did to Ernestine when she lost her other two heads and her wings after she ate NancyJK's Blueberry muffins? Just because you are NancyJK's youngest childdo you think for one moment I should cut you a break?" Andrew, remembering the impassioned liplock replied. "Alfred, it is not what it seems to be,I just meant to give her a little peck on the cheek, She is the one that turnedher head and attempted to swallow my face." Alfred bent over and picked up arock the size of his head. Andrew implored him "Before you do anything rash, ask Her." Alfred turns to Ernestine, and with a quiver in His voice He says...

Leonessa Thursday, May 3, 2007 at 08:47:17

... "Ernestine? Is what he's saying true? Was it you that kissed him so passionately?" Ernestine looks at Alfred with a tear in her eye and says, "Yes dear heart. It was I that reached out to him, I was in a different place then, but it is you that I wish to be with now, he is my past as we all have a past as I am sure that you have kissed others before me, please don't take any aggression out on Andrew." Alfred stands there speachless and heartbroken, trying to work out what has happend in his head... he looks at Andrew and then Ernestine, then to NancyJK ... after a long pause Alfred walks up to Andrew and ....

Andrew Thursday, May 3, 2007 at 09:16:04

says. "Sorry about the mis-understandingI'm just a wee bit insecure, I wish I was taller than 2'-8"...Hey, now that we are O.K. How about a piggy-back ride twice around the waterfall? That will patch things up. Funny isn't it?...When Elocutor went up in a ball of fire, The false joy went up with him." Alfred turns to Ernestine and says. "I forgive you, YOU are ALL that and a bag of chips". Alfred walks up to Ernestine and kisses her. Alfred then declares. "Tis time to make Pedantic right in His ol' pumpkin head again I am after all His very best friend." Alfred turns to where Pedantic and Gutbucketbob was tied, just to discover...

Leonessa Friday, May 4, 2007 at 04:51:39

.... That they were Gone! As Alfred moved closer to the spot where Robeo had tied them to the surf board that was shoved into the earth, the surf board was still there, where as both Pedantic and Gutbucketbob were no where to be seen. Andrew says, "So I guess we need to be alert so that in his very twisted state of mind Pedantic doesn’t try something to harm us." NancyJK looks at him and, "Jeez sonny boy you’re just the brightest bulb in the box aren’t ya? Of course we need to be on lookout for him ... my poor love has gone crazy, or something like that, an I don’t want him hurt when we do find him." So as they gather their belongings and head off to search for Pedantic they all...

Andrew Friday, May 4, 2007 at 05:38:41

...Are instructed by Alfred. "Hey listen up!I have known Pedantic all my life, When he was young his mother dropped him on his head...Hummm...two or three times from various heights. He grew up in therapy. When you see him just say these two words, and he will return to nOrMaL. "potato pancakes". That's it, he will then become nOrMaL (for Pedantic) for a good long while."Ernestine replied. "Alfred, You are talking about the one that cried out for his mommy right?" The rest of the group chuckles. Alfred shakes his head yes, and says. "Gutbucketbob is more of a concern. Perhaps we can get him to...

malloo Saturday, May 5, 2007 at 14:02:52

I think ERnestine is really Ernie, or she would like to be so anyhow this is a typical experience for her/him and once she/he gets on the right bus she'll end up at the surgeon's office. probably with Dr 90210

Andrew Monday, May 7, 2007 at 06:36:19

Thank you Malloo for your insight and your...Ahhh...Razor sharp wit

Andrew Monday, May 7, 2007 at 06:39:52

Let's return to our story...Alfred was saying. "Gitbucketbob is more of a concern. Perhaps we can get him to...

Leonessa Monday, May 7, 2007 at 07:38:59

.... After that Totally Out of Character Outburst ... Ernestine knocks Alfred on the back of the head and he finishes his train of thought ... "Sorry as I was saying, Gutbucketbob is more of a concern. Perhaps we can get him to give up or calm down enough to understand that his reasoning for his actions are out of whack with what is going on here." Alfred looks at Ernestine with warmth and love in his eyes an with a brief kiss they all start the search for Pedantic to turn him back to his former self which isn’t quite 'normal' but a little bit more stable. So ....

Andrew Monday, May 7, 2007 at 10:16:11

NancyJK picks up the combat boot for her right foot, Things have been happening so fast that she just has not had a chance to put it back on since Pedantic removed it and kissed her toes. She walks over to the CHAIR and sits down without thinking. In less than an instant NancyJK and the chair just vanish into thin air. Andrew cries out in vain. "Motherrrr". Silence is his answer. A faded hologram of Elocutorappears and hangs above the group saying. "She is the third - taken to the Paisley dimesion...The ones named Pedantic and Gutbucketbob were the first two. Beware the Numinous are coming". Ernestine is quaking. Alfred come to her and puts His arm around her. "Don't worry Baby, The silly paisley place will have their hand full with those three." Alfred says as he strokes Ernestine's...

Leonessa Monday, May 7, 2007 at 10:38:06

... cheek. In his loving caress, Ernestine finds the comfort she needed. She seems to come alive and vibrant as Alfred touches her in tenderness, she looks around and it hits her! She knows what she needs to do, as she starts to walk off she calls over her shoulder to Andrew and Alfred, "Boys this journey is about to get interesting, be careful not to sit in the Chair but bring it with us, I believe I have a plan of how to get all three of them back without harming any of us." Alfred and Andrew look at each other as in asking silently where has this transformation in Ernestine came from as they grab the Chair and begin to follow her out of the jungle back toward civilization ... or so they think....

Andrew Monday, May 7, 2007 at 11:42:02

...They swiftly learn, that like so many things...Civilization is a relative term...As they walk away from the thunder of the waterfall that has almost become their home...In the distance they hear another sound...The sound of drums...Rhythmicly imitating the beating of their hearts...Alfred scurries over to Ernestine and says...

Leonessa Tuesday, May 8, 2007 at 04:52:43

.... Beloved, my darling, darling beloved I hate to bother you, but I must know where we are going, at first I thought that we were going to go away from that ever so alluring drum beat but now I can see that we are heading straight for it!" As his rather wimpy voice cracked on the end of his whining Ernestine looked at him reassuringly and said, "Alfred dear heart please just trust me in this, I know what we have to do to get them back, since Robeo is no where to be found we will have to do this ourselves, I'll tell you everything just as soon as I can but right now we need to just walk and let me finish my plan of how this needs to work so that we all may live." With that Alfred slowed so that he was back with Andrew helping to drag the Chair along with them. Andrew looked at Alfred and.....

Elocutor (a.k.a. Pedantic) Tuesday, May 8, 2007 at 07:08:51

...remembered that he really, really misses his cat, Crumbles, so called because one swipe with her steel-sharp claws and the assaulted one crumbles. Meanwhile, NancyJK meets up with Pedantic and Gutbucket Bob in the Paisley Dimension and shouts, "I knew it! I knew it all along! You, Pedantic, are an undercover agent for the good guys! You were just trying to sucker these numinous idiots into sucking you into their dimension so that you could thwart their nefarious plans!" Pedantic made some hushing motions. "Go back now, NanchJK," he hissed, or you'll mess EVERYTHING up! And take Gutty here with you! His smell is revolting to me, but the Numinous love it!" So NancyJK grabs Gutbucket Bob, wraps her lovely arms around his liquid middle, and shouts "Presto hey!" and they are both back at the waterfall, watching Ernestine, Alfred, and Andrew disappear along the trail, which was, fortunately, easy to follow because of the chair the two male slaves dragged behind them. "Oh Ernestiiine!" NancyJK cried out, "I'm baaack!"

Elocutor (a.k.a. Pedantic) Tuesday, May 8, 2007 at 07:14:10

Meanwhile, back in the Paisley Dimension, Pedantic finds Robeo tied up and hanging from a tree, with its roots on fire. "Well, buddy," he says, "want some help?" Robeo smiles. "I really don't want to trouble you." "No trouble," Pedantic says, and slices the rope. Robeo falls to the earth, slips out of the ropes and says,"thanks, Pedantic, but now we must get back to the waterfall, because I have found out that Ernestine is not really Ernestine. She's a numinous disguised as Ernestine. The chair is really Ernestine, and the numinous is going to destroy that chair before we can save it/her." Then he began to wail, "Oh my darlin', oh my darlin' oh my Daaaarlin' Ernestine! YOu are lost and..." Pedantic grimaced. "Okay already, let's get back there!"

Leonessa Thursday, May 10, 2007 at 07:00:09

... So Robeo and Pedantic head back to the waterfalls, with Robeo humming "oh my darlin" and getting it stuck in Pedantic's head, thanks Robeo. As they say the magic phrase "Presto Hey!" they arrive back at the waterfall... accually IN the water its self with a look at Robeo, Pedantic trudges out of the water onto the bank an takes his boots off to drain the water from them, as he looked up he saw that there was no one in sight. So looking at the tracks of the chair/Ernestine he an Robeo start to follow when ....

Andrew Friday, May 11, 2007 at 06:28:34

...A two headed buck-tooth Numinous thesize of an aardvark, waddles out of thebushes into their path and says. "They went thata way" pointing down the path with a eight fingered hand. "I'm hungry,do you know where I can get something to eat?" Robeo replies. "What DO you eat?" The Numinous looks at them with sly and knowing eyes. "I'm particularly fond of Sheep parts sausage. Do you haveanything like THAT in this Place?" RobeoLooks at him and starts laughing. "Yes we do, We have just the ticket for you MaGoo. AND as much as you can stomach."The numinous' eyes got wide and says."How about the underside of a...BeforeHe could finish a multitude of Numinouscame waddling in from every direction...

Leonessa Tuesday, May 15, 2007 at 04:51:20

Pedantic and Robeo look at each other with a wordless 'what in the world is this' expression on their faces... Mean while 8 miles ahead, the Numinous Ernestine followed by NancyJK, Andrew, Alfred and Gutty (dragging the Ernestine/Chair) are all plodding along at a slightly rushed pace while Ernestine (as the chair) is trying to communicate with Andrew and Alfred but unfortunately all she is able to do is kinda dig her 'heels' in and make it difficult to pull her along, as Andrew and Alfred Struggle with that dang chair NancyJK an Gutty come up behind Ernestine (the numinous) and Hit her On the Head! It turns around to face NancyJK ... Only its body isn’t turned just the HEAD is! Gutty Squeals and NancyJK Faints, as this gets the attention of Andrew and Alfred they look to see the Numinous standing with it's Combat booted foot posed over NancyJK's head ready to Stomp it into the dust! ... Andrew lunges forward and....

Andrew Tuesday, May 15, 2007 at 07:28:35

...plucks the leg right off, Just to reveal a squat purple aardvark leg and a eight toed foot...With only one leg to stand on the Numinous teeters and falls over chirping like a deranged canary and hits the Chair, as soon as the Numinous touches the Chair. Ernestine is there with wide eyed Alfred holding one of her ankles. The false Ernestine Numinous sheds the rest of His Ernestine Disquise and...

Leonessa Wednesday, May 16, 2007 at 05:18:04

...Laughs uncontrollably! As the group look at each other. Then as it’s Gasping for air Pedantic and Robeo show up in a puff of smoke! As Pedantic chokes on the smoke Robeo pulls the Numinous, that was gonna stomp NancyJK's head into the dust, up in the air and gives him a stern look and, " Now why cant ya'll jus leave us be? We are not ya food, your being a bad, very bad numinous. Now go home to your parents I'll stop by later and have a talk with your Mother and Father about this behavior." With that the numinous squirms his was to the ground and runs off to find his friends, and go home so that he don’t get in too much trouble for playing with the humans the way he did. With that Robeo turns to the group and ....

Andrew Wednesday, May 16, 2007 at 06:39:13

...Says. "Thanks to Alfred's heads-up toPotato Pancakes, Pedantic has returned to just mildly deranged." Chuckling to Himself he continues. "The Elocutor phenomenon has been solved...He's an alien, that has proclaimed himself King of Boogar, and wants to colonize the Paisley dimension, using us to do it." NancyJK gasps. "How will we know when we are dealing with him, He took on Pedantic's appearance." Andrew replies."Remember when I threw that water on Him?...Whenever we...

Leonessa Tuesday, May 22, 2007 at 05:01:02

...throw water on him he turns back to his alien self so if your ever in dout then douse him." Robeo turns his back to them an says "Well, I suppose I could take ya'll back to Nohaggisforyou, unless you wish to stay here and trek your way back." They all look at eachother and then back to Robeo and at the same time answer: "Take us back to Nohaggisforyou!" as they finished they all started to chuckle, laugh, giggle uncontrolibly and walk over to Robeo whom lifts them in the air to start back to Nohaggisforyou, as they are soring through the air with Robeo heading back to Nohaggisforyou Robeo hears a call for his help! and they all Poof in a Big puff of smoke! When they opened their eyes they were standing in the middle of no where and Robeo was no where to been seen! As they realize that he has dropped them off there to make their own way home NanckJK starts to ......

Andrew Tuesday, May 22, 2007 at 10:01:09

...Smile and point. "Look guys, a sign to Nohaggisforyou. Robeo dropped us off only ten miles away." Ernestine looks puzzled and walks over to the sign. "Hold on a second." she murmurs, as she rubs another zero from under the dirt on the sign. "The sign reads a hundred miles...Hummm...That just can't be right, it is pointing due East." Alfred asks. "What's wrong with that?"Ernestine replies. "That would put us at the edge of the Burmuda triangle." Just then Andrew drenches Ernestine with a large canteen of water, only to realize no change, other than a testy and somewhat damp Ernestine. Andrew clears his throat, looking sheepishly atthe ground and says...

Leonessa Tuesday, May 29, 2007 at 05:41:10

.... "I thought for sure that someone who would wipe away dirt to prove that we had a more difficult trip ahead of us was a Numinous, Sorry." With a slight flush in his cheeks he turns to stand behind NancyJK. As Ernistine starts to wring out her hair and shirt they all start thinking as to what they need to do. If Ernistine is right then they are smack dab at the edge of the Burmuda Triangle. So how in the world are they goin to find their way out? the all wonder in silence. Then Andrew Gets an Idea .....

Andrew Tuesday, May 29, 2007 at 08:18:11

..."O.K. It is obvious that someone or something has switched signs trying to throw us off course for home. We head due North, we will come across a city, a town, or a cow pasture that will at least give us an idea where good ol' Robeo dropped us off at." NancyJK chimes in. "Great idea, once we find something along those lines we can get a cab, or ride a horse. My Son you are a genius." Alfred whines. "That sounds just ducky, but I'm hungry, and the Numinous are not far behind us, I think they eat anything in their path..." Ernestine places a finger to her lips and shushes Alfred and whispers..."Listen what is that? What ever it is it sounds like it is...

Leonessa Wednesday, May 30, 2007 at 05:04:57

.... Ripping through the atmosphere! Like its coming Straight For Us!" As Alfred runs to hide from the thought of what might be coming to destroy them now, NancyJK Looks toward the sky to see if she can determin the source of the noise, as she looks upward she spots an air plane and its headed due northwest it looks to be in some type of trouble, she calls out to Alfred ....

Andrew Wednesday, May 30, 2007 at 06:38:43

..."Do you hear that? Sounds like the engine is running on only two cylinders,What is that purple goo all over that plane?" In the next instance the engine goes silent and the plane starts loosing altitude fast. Ernestine says. "That plane is going down, let's go see if we can help them." The group starts out at a brisk walk in the direction of the floundering plane when they hear branches cracking and trees falling then silence, The group picks-up the pace in the direction of the downed plane...

Leonessa Thursday, May 31, 2007 at 09:00:35

... As they neared the area where they thought that the plane went down, they first seen smoke, then as they drew closer they seen a small fire at the edge of the purple gooey looking stuff in the wing of the plane... just then Ernestine states, "You guys, I have a headache, do we have to help these people? We've been going on little to no sleep or food for days now. I don’t want to get us hurt by not being alert enough to handle this tremendous task ahead of us." the group just look at her, then Alred spoke up an said.....

Andrew Thursday, May 31, 2007 at 09:35:39

..."Quick Andrew, throw a bucket of water on this imposter!" Andrew empties the rest of His canteen over Ernestines head, and barely got out of the way of the ensueing fireball. "Whoa" Andrew exclaimes. "Alfred...How did you know that was not Ernestine?" Alfred replies. "Ernestine has never, ever had a headache. Somehow she was obducted from under our very noses, somewhere between finding the high mileage on the sign and getting here." Alfred is on the verge of tears. Andrew says to Him. "Retrace our steps Alfred, go find her, The rest of us needs to go help those people in the plane." Alfredanswers in a quivering voice. "You want me to go back there all by myself, without any...

Leonessa Monday, June 4, 2007 at 09:08:34

... body to help me or protect me?" NancyJK looks at him. "Come on, this little adventure will put a little hair on your chest." she says. Alfred then sucks his gut in and pokes out his chest as if his mass is growing at the thought that he might be more of a man in Ernestine's eyes. He looks at Andrew with pleading eyes and whispers, "Okay so you really wont come with me?" Andrew says in a not so whisper, "Alfred if I go with you who will protect my mother?" Alfred sighs dramatically. "Okay here I go to save my love, my life, my Ernestine!" With that he turns and trudges off into the distance at a fast clip in search of the Real Ernestine. As he disappears out of sight, Andrew Turns to his mother and says......

Elocutor (a.k.a. Pedantic) Monday, June 4, 2007 at 13:32:16

"If I were a Spaniard riding a white noise, I could just pile on the spaghetti in tome for noodie and we'd have it made." NancyJK looked cross-eyed at her son and said, "what?" "Well," drawled Alfred, "I mean that screwball is a fine avian wine mixed with charcoal whodunit, and colored with bombast. Can you not wither with the best of them?" "Oh my Deity!" NancyJk shouts, "my beloved boy has been brain-damaged by the smoke of the burning purple gunk! Heeeeelp Someone! Heeeelp!" Just then, Ernestine, the real Ernestine...

Andrew Tuesday, June 5, 2007 at 10:12:12

Saunters up to the panic stricken NancyJK and says. "Take it easy NancyJK,don't get your pennies in a bunch, this is only temporary, and easy to fix."Ernestine looks at a wide-eyed Andrew and instructs him. "Lift your left foot,pinch your nose and whistle Dixie." Andrew looks at NancyJK and says."Shubap-a-dap-a-ding dong daisy." NancyJK quickly replies. "Just do what she creep-a-long moo-goo-guy-pan in time." NancyJK sighs, as she lifts her left foot, pinches her nose and whistles Dixie in harmony with Andrew. Andrew asks Ernestine. "Where is Alfred? We sent Him back to find you." Before Ernestine can answer Alfred pipes up. "I'm here, I found her about ten feet from here coming to meet us."The group turns it attention back to thesmoking plane only to see fifteen people standing on one leg, noses pinched making an off-keyed whistling symphony of Dixie. Andrew looks suspiciously at Ernestine and says. "How did you know about the lift foot, pinch nose, and whistle thing?" Before she can reply, Another Alfred comes up to the group from the trail they just arrived on, shouting. "Shubap-a-dap-a-ding dong daddy...

Leonessa Wednesday, June 6, 2007 at 05:33:26