DON'T GOT A CLUE Monday, November 29, 2004 at 06:54:47

Then they both slipped on the ice and landed in haggis.

Loz Tuesday, November 30, 2004 at 02:25:12

A passing hobo, seeing their plight, gave a loud, rasping laugh. "Look at the hoity-toities, all fallen down in the haggis!" he teased. Then a collection of his hobo-friends came around and stood around laughing and pointing at the two. Finally the two had had enough, so they...

Skanky Bananna Tuesday, November 30, 2004 at 17:05:16

ran as fast as they could to the store to get some maple syrup (yum). once they had aquired the maple syrup, they chased down the Hobos and began fiercely spraying it at them mercelessly. after they had chased them nearly 2 miles they decided it was enough and headed to the local cheese factory....

DON'T GOT A CLUE Wednesday, December 1, 2004 at 18:07:35

where the hobos had an ambush of 183 other hobos making fun of the hoity-toites that fell in the haggis.

L Friday, December 3, 2004 at 08:27:41

Unfortunately, the hobos didn't know one very important fact. The hoity-toites had been disguising themselves. They were actually....

Jesse Friday, December 3, 2004 at 19:56:46

Las Vegas showgirls on vacation disguised as little old men disguised as vaccum cleaner salesmen disguised as Jerry Springer and Ava Gabor disguised as hoity-toities.

PeterN Monday, December 6, 2004 at 08:33:20

And beneath the hoity-toity disguises came the worst of all, an illusion(or reality?) of horrible hideous unimaginable......

Jesse Monday, December 6, 2004 at 10:31:47

...horror. For underneath the layer of disguises was that which is none other than Barney the Dinosaur.

DON'T GOT A CLUE Wednesday, December 8, 2004 at 06:01:55

The hobos, never having seen Barney before, didn't know to run, but they soon found out when Barney started to sing, but then it was too late.

L Wednesday, December 8, 2004 at 08:45:38

With .9739479875 of a second, they were under the spell of his hideous song, singing snd swaying like 4 year olds. "Hahaha" laughed Barney, "now that I have them under my spell, I can....."

Nut Saturday, December 11, 2004 at 20:56:25

feed them to my pet, excuse me, little sister, and...

mary Thursday, December 16, 2004 at 06:44:04

then, all the hobo's joined hands and starting singing "I love you, you love me, we're as happy as can be". Barney was so flabbergasted that he

DON'T GOT A CLUE Sunday, December 19, 2004 at 13:17:25

Grabbed the mystical Excalibur (don't ask me where he got it) and called the haggis-spewing Lochness monster. "Oh-no" cried the hobos, sensing that...

jobeee Monday, December 27, 2004 at 06:18:54

imminent danger which was about to befall them. this fear had freed their minds from the purple dinosaurs total control- but not their bodies. They could not help but sway like 4-year-olds. Their fear consumed them and they could do nothing but...

Happy Harry Wednesday, January 12, 2005 at 08:02:52

wonder why everyone was so incredibly crazy about haggis! Don`t they know what haggis is? And don`t they know what would happen if they were spewed upon by the loch ness monster that spewed haggis? Firstly, you become 7 months pregnant and then

DON'T GOT A CLUE Friday, January 14, 2005 at 06:37:06

hundreds of emu are attracted to the scent, and they all peck you till you need one of those tiny band-aids with Sponge Bob on them.

L Sunday, January 16, 2005 at 09:29:20

While the barney-crazed hobos were mulling over this fact, a strange shadow suddenly passed over them. Immediately, their minds were freed from Barney and his hideous song. What kind of being had the force to free one's mind from Barney? They all turned to face this amazing being and were astonished to see.....

DON'T GOT A CLUE Monday, January 17, 2005 at 07:03:29

David Hasselhoff holding the most feared weapon aimed at Barney! It was a...

Happy Harry Friday, January 21, 2005 at 07:05:33

picture of my ex wife! Does anybody know the power of such a sight? It will void your mentality in a split second and turn your brain to haggis!!! And the worst thing about this is...

chuckles Thursday, January 27, 2005 at 10:33:45

once your eyes fall upon the steely gaze of her picture you are unable to move until...

DON'T GOT A CLUE Friday, January 28, 2005 at 05:43:46

David Hasselhoff and Robeo do the secret handshake of the order of the emu.

jobeee Friday, January 28, 2005 at 12:13:20

But such an event could never occur because Robeo was nowhere in sight (not that the hobos could look for him anyway- they were locked into the gaze of the ex-wife). David Hasselhoff was at a loss, and the unfortunate hobos could only stare and await their coming freedom from this bout of hypnotism. Suddenly, the sound of the emu was heard, and up in the sky, it was a bird, no, a plane, no, it was...

john k Monday, January 31, 2005 at 09:19:33

a plane after all.

L Tuesday, February 1, 2005 at 03:05:38

And in the doorway of the plane was a sight none of them had ever seen before. It was Robeo, freshly in from a trip to Hawaii, in a superman cape. He had come to do the secret handshake of the order of the emu. But as he prepared to parachute to the ground.....

DON'T GOT A CLUE Tuesday, February 1, 2005 at 06:22:33

The haggis spewing loch-ness monster spewed haggis and jumbled the jet engines of the plane, forcing Robeo to save the plane instead of the handshake.

Happy Harry Monday, February 7, 2005 at 05:26:36

But, of course, he slipped in all the haggis and fell down a man hole and found the body of a large...

DON'T GOT A CLUE Monday, February 7, 2005 at 06:34:32

pod person imitation of himself, and of every one in the story. " Oh no!" he yelled. "Now what?"

Pedantic Thursday, February 10, 2005 at 06:29:18

At that moment, a spritely yellow chicken the size of a dalmatian popped out of the ether with a large biscuit clutched in his beak. Dropping it into Robeo's muddied lap, he cackled, "eat this!"

DON'T GOT A CLUE Friday, February 11, 2005 at 05:41:14

As the mysterious bossy chicken was caclking at Robeo, Barney used that time to hop on the hagis spewing lochness monster and ride off to the next nearest cheese factory, leaving the hobos in a daze about what the heck was going on.

Adam Saturday, February 26, 2005 at 03:36:14

Barney arrived at the next nearest cheese factory, which was really a top secret laboratory designed to capture Barney and to scientifically study his stuffing in comparison to that of Tickle-Me-Elmo. However, Our purple plush friend remembered that his partner (who is currently occupied trying to remove the tight fitting Las Vegas Showgirls disguise, but the zipper is stuck) Left with the decision that no push entertainer should have to make, Barney decided to...

DON'T GOT A CLUE Monday, February 28, 2005 at 05:44:12

Ambush David Hasselhoff by disguising as Robeo, who, still confused about the chicken, invited the hobos to a chicken fry.

jobeee Tuesday, March 1, 2005 at 13:59:25

However, it would not be easy to fool David into believing that he was Robeo, for the two were close friends and brothers by the Order of the Emu. Barney's only course of action would be to use David Hasselhoff's one weakness to trick him. Barney would have to...

DON'T GOT A CLUE Tuesday, March 8, 2005 at 05:25:38

make David think he was on a beach and someone was drowning, which would make David run in slo-mo, giving Barney time to hit him with a haggis bomb from the Loch-Ness. Meanwhile, Robeo and the hobos tried to catch up with Barney. However...

Adam Thursday, March 10, 2005 at 01:38:03

Barney started singing "I love you, You L..." and the hobos stopped, joined hands and started to sing along and sway to the music. Our Carnivorous Wanna-be realized that soon the hobos would finish the song and snap back into reality (which has nothing do with this story). Barney quickly got to work because he only had moments....

Pedantic Monday, March 14, 2005 at 06:28:01

...before the chicken swooped down, claws extended, and grabbed Barney by the ears. "I told you to eat this!" it cackled ominously at Robeo, who had begun swaying in time to the horrific music. Once agin the yellow fluff tossed a biscuit at Our Hero, but it was intercepted by a sizzling slice of haggis, and deflected into the gaping maw of Barney, who suddenly became mean as a drunkem, haggis-eating Scot. He began singing instead, "I hate you, you hate me! We are a dysfunctional family!"

DON'T GOT A CLUE Tuesday, March 15, 2005 at 05:18:40

This freed the hobos from the odd happy song spell, forcing them into the mean hate song spell; Robeo, however, did not have time to be had into the hate song spell because he was wondering how in the world that chicken came back after he ate it.

Adam Saturday, March 19, 2005 at 03:31:19

Son: "Dad!?!"Dad: "Yes Son?"Son: "I think Mommy tells much better stories."Dad: "Why do you say that?"Son: "Mommy just reads the words on the page."Dad: "What so interesting about that? I like make things exciting!"Son: "Dad?, Can you read?"Dad: "Shhh, let me finish the story"

Dan Sunday, March 20, 2005 at 05:41:43

As I was saying, while Robeo was puzzling over the chicken paradox, Barney's companion finally won the wrestle with the zipper. As he whipped off the disguise all were flabbergasted at the true identity of Barney's companion - Robin (previously of the famousBatman and Robin partnership but now freelancing after "professional differences" but that's another story).

DON'T GOT A CLUE Monday, March 21, 2005 at 06:50:44

The hobos then went into a terrible consternation. Running around in circles screaming. Five hours later, when the hobos got tired of running in circles and screaming...

This is Dumb Tuesday, March 22, 2005 at 19:44:46

they all fell asleep, allowing Robeo and Robin to once again bring the hobos under there spell and continue the plan they'd been working on to...

Pedantic Thursday, March 24, 2005 at 06:30:14

force the communist remnants of the Red Menace to sit down and eat a wholesome helping of haggis--knowing that peace, prosperity, and capitalism would spring up throughout the land. Of course, so would halitosis, cyclical unemployment, and stock market loss, but then we all live in an imperfect universe.

DON'T GOT A CLUE Tuesday, March 29, 2005 at 21:47:11

When the hobos awoke, they saw Robin, Robeo, and whatever the heck Pedantic was talking about, and went into another circle running consternation, forcing Barney to smack them all with a frying pan. (ah, slapstick)

Adam Thursday, March 31, 2005 at 21:18:41

(Son) "Dad?!?" (Dad) "Do you want me to finish this story or not?" (Son) "NOT!" (Dad) "Well then, go to sleep." (Son) "No, finish your story!!!" (Dad) "Let's see were did I leave off...that's right...Barney was smacking the hobos with a frying pan...

DON'T GOT A CLUE Monday, April 11, 2005 at 07:09:28

um... yes... sure, lets go with that. Now when Barney got tired of all the swinging the frying pan, the hobos were pretty much unconscious, Robeo, was chasing the yellow biscit chicken, Robin was chasing the Haggis Loch-ness monster, and David Hasselhoff had done got bored and left.

Pedantic Friday, April 15, 2005 at 13:24:10

When out of the blue, the Joker appeared spraying ersatz whipped cream all over Robin, who didn't like it one bit. "I'll get you. you malignant punch line!" he shouted in a strident voice, as he wiped white stuff off his face. "Holy sugary froth," he continued in a terrified voice as he examined his melting fingers, "this isn't whipped cream, its..."

DON'T GOT A CLUE Thursday, April 21, 2005 at 06:36:46

haggis and emu cream!!!! A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-AHHHHH!!!!" this scream caught David Hasselhoff's attention, so he decided to come back (and, when he got there, he wondered how in the world Barney, the Loch-ness monster, Robin, and the Joker, and himself got into such a ridiculous story. O, well, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.)

Pitstop Penny Wednesday, May 11, 2005 at 09:47:30

Haggis and emu cream - No!! Genetically altered haggis and emu cream! Worrying about something that they obviously had no control over, Barney, the Loch-ness monster, Robin and the Joker threatened to take David Hasselhoff's car away from him if he did not come up with a nifty-thrifty antidote to the side effects of the genetically altered haggis and emu cream!

L Tuesday, May 17, 2005 at 05:17:58

Suddenly, a huge asteroid slammed into Earth, causing everyone involved in this crazy story to start choking and pass out temporarily. When they awoke, a case of amnesia had set in, and all had forgotten who, what, where, when, and why. Alas, the story was forced to start over with a clean slate.

Robeo Tuesday, May 17, 2005 at 06:12:16

But, miraculously, it wasn't started over but, alas, it continued.

DON'T GOT A CLUE Tuesday, May 17, 2005 at 07:48:10

Continued into what, though. David Hasselhoff, the Jedi of the beach, uses the force to lift the tainted mutant cream off of Robin. But it was too late, Robin had already...

PitStop Penny Tuesday, May 17, 2005 at 10:03:07

"Consumed" some of the haggis/cream mixture. As he lay choking and screaming and wiggling on the ground, David Hasselhoff wondered if he was going to be transformed into...

Cory Tuesday, May 17, 2005 at 18:28:01

A giant monkey

Pedantic Wednesday, May 18, 2005 at 06:35:52

but, no. Robin slowly, inexorably transformed into...into...Jabba the Hutt! Princess Aiel wrapped a chain around his neck and jerked! Robin squeaked like a canary, vomited the haggis and emu cream and began a second transformation into...

Anonamyous Thursday, May 19, 2005 at 09:18:03

Meg Ryan on a bad hair day. Robin, getting tired of all of this tranforming junk, runs over to a mirror and just stands there screaming, "Who is going to take me seriously now?!?"

Pitstop Penny Thursday, May 19, 2005 at 09:18:30

Meg Ryan on a bad hair day. Robin, getting tired of all of this tranforming junk, runs over to a mirror and just stands there screaming, "Who is going to take me seriously now?!?"

Pitstop Penny Thursday, May 19, 2005 at 09:24:26

Meg Ryan on a bad hair day. Robin, getting tired of all of this tranforming junk, runs over to a mirror and just stands there screaming, "Who is going to take me seriously now?!?"

Pitstop Penny Thursday, May 19, 2005 at 10:05:23

Genetically altered Haggis & Emu Cream will make you repeat yourself too....

grant Friday, May 20, 2005 at 07:23:45

repeat yourself, repeat yourself, repeat yourself like Pitstop Penny 'tilyou want to

Pedantic Tuesday, May 24, 2005 at 06:25:58

stuff yourself full of haggis and emu cream, and thus start the vicious cycle over again, over again, over again...But wait! In the distance, come speeding toward Robin/Meg faster than a speeding bullet, is...a speeding bullet! It clips through Robin's/Meg's bad hair, ricochet's off of the Elizabeth A. Lair monument, and smashes into a pile of dried haggis, uncovering Robeo in his...

Pitstop Penny Wednesday, May 25, 2005 at 06:35:59

Skivies! No! Wait! He is taking off his skivies and revealing another identity! He is one of the hobos that started this whole mess! What shall we do?

DON'T GOT A CLUE Friday, May 27, 2005 at 07:43:16

We shall... we shall... we shall... we shall... Make Robeo keep his skivies on... on... on... There are really some things I just don't wanna see... wanna see... wanna see...

Pitstop Penny Thursday, June 9, 2005 at 09:17:44

Oh, the confusion of it all! Here all along we thought that the hoity-toities we actually Barney the Dinosaur in disguise. Everyone is running around, trying to stay away from the haggis and it is Robeo all along. As everyone descends on Robeo with large spoonsfull of haggis.....

DON'T GOT A CLUE Tuesday, June 14, 2005 at 10:16:29

Meanwhile, everyone else is waiting for Robeo to come end this story and start another, Tune in next week to find out.

Pedantic Thursday, June 16, 2005 at 07:27:16

...except Alpharz the Regicide. On the run from his most recent disgusting murder of the queen bee of a hive of non-sentient honey-makers, he has stared intently, waiting with bated breath for the next installment of this story. And here it comes! Robeo, unmasked, hops on the table, and, splaying arms wide does a leg-kick, singing at the top of his lungs, "LET ME! ENTERTAIN YOU!"

Robeo Thursday, June 16, 2005 at 18:16:43

"LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU! LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU LET ME! ENTERTAIN YOU LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU! LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU LET ME! ENTERTAIN YOU LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU! and LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU!" It was only then that Robeo let out a sad sigh as this story was now over.