I'd like to thank the Academy for failing to nominate me once again thisyear for the Webby Award. If it hadn't been for the members of this self esteemed commitee, I would have won the award. I'd also like to thank my personaltrainer for teaching me how to juggle and ride a unicycle and especially myhairdresser for only she knows for sure. I'd also like to give specialthanks to all the little people for without them I would not be at thebottom of the totempole.

To be passed over for this award is one of the proudest moments in my life.I cannot tell you how long I haven't dreamed of this very moment. I will besure to clear a special place on my mantle where I will not display, with pride, theaward I didn't get. Words alone can express my feelings right now.Thank you for your support. Thanks a lot. Oh yes. Thanks.

Good night.